Some of the biggest drains of energy are energy vampires, those negative people who criticize you, put you down, make you feel unworthy, fearful and even sick, or who just drain you with all their complaints and negativity.
They can come from anywhere – your family, friends, at work, in your neighborhood. Wherever they are, it’s the same story: they cannot create or sustain their own life force and suck the life out of you. Don’t let them. Your goal is to breathe in life, not have it sucked out of you!
What can you do to cope with energy vampires? Here are some ways:
BE AWARE: The first thing you need to do is to recognize who the energy vampires are in your life and the effect they have on you.
Here’s a partial list:
- BLAMER: Everything is always everyone else’s fault, including yours.
- GUILT TRIPPERS: They try to get what they want by making you feel guilty.
- BULLIES: They stomp all over you with their anger and accusations.
- CONTROLLERS: They try to run your life.
- DRAMA QUEEN: Everything is a cause for hysteria.
- WHINERS: Everything is wrong.
- GOSSIPERS: They drain you with their pettiness and try and connect with you over unintelligent dribble.
LIMIT TIME: Next, unless drainers are in your intimate circle, don’t return calls or texts and block their emails. If they are co-workers, neighbors, or relatives and can’t be avoided, minimize contact as much as possible. When you must be around them, don’t engage in their doomsday conversations, you are better than that.
SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES: Set firm limits on how much of your time they can take up and what behaviour is unacceptable to you.
SAY NO WHENEVER POSSIBLE: Don’t let them make you feel guilty for not being able to make them happy. Learn to say “no”. To do that, sometimes you must walk away and refuse to help this person.
TAKE FIVE: When they press your buttons, take a moment to breathe deeply rather than exploding. You can’t change their behavior but you can change how you react to it and how you spend your time and energy.
INCREASE POSITIVITY: Ward off the negativity coming from an energy drainer by increasing your own positive attitude. This is a muscle you need to build but once it is strong it will save you time and time again.
SEEK LIKE-MINDED POSITIVE PEOPLE: Make an effort to spend more time with the upbeat, life-giving, energizing people you know. Have a community with the same values and standards as you…. this is a gift that will keep on giving.
Wherever you are in your journey there will always be ups and downs and of course people that want to pull you down to their level. Stay strong, be true to your purpose and vision and remember what Malcolm X had to say about haters: “If you have no critics you’ll likely have no success.”
Live with passion.